Week 1 Down

I cannot believe a week has passed.  What a damn week.  Do I feel any better?  No!  Where is this inkling that you are doing the right thing?  I really want to feel at least partially normal.  I honestly do not like who I have become.  My weight is still spiraling out of control and my relationship with my husband is strained.  We barely talk and I am now sleeping down the other end of the house.  The benefits to quitting, at the moment, are no longer making sense to me.  Nothing is.

I am really concerned about my weight.  I have had a problem with my weight from an early age.  I often wonder if I should have gotten my weight under control first then tackled the smoking problem.  So I am now fighting 2 battles instead of 1.  My kids are supportive in their own way but have on a couple of occasions mentioned that I am unbearable to live with right now.

The nicotine cravings are bad, I am having trouble with the psychological addiction more than anything.  I think that is going to be my biggest battle.  It has been previously and I truly believed that I would be able to tackle it better this time.  I am sorely mistaken.  I do not feel "wonderful", I do not even feel "better", I feel numb, I feel lost and I feel angry.